Conflict help for congregations and faith communities
I help congregations engage conflict and make hard decisions together through mediation, listening sessions, facilitation, consensus building, and discernment processes. I work in person around Colorado Springs and online with communities across the U.S. and beyond.
Book a free conversationHow it worksConflict in a faith community rarely stays in one room.
It shows up in board meetings, in hallway conversations, in who stops coming. Because people care deeply about their community, disagreements carry real weight. That's not a sign something has failed. It's a sign something matters.
Reaching out early is often easier than waiting until positions harden.
- Tension between a pastor and the board, staff, or lay leaders
- A divided decision: a building project, a merger, a change in worship, or denominational affiliation
- A leadership transition, or a pastor's departure
- Staff conflict that's affecting the wider community
- A painful event the community hasn't been able to talk about
- Meetings that keep circling without reaching a decision
Support shaped to your community
Most work combines more than one of these. We'll choose together after the first conversation.
Mediation
A neutral, structured conversation between leaders, staff, or members in conflict, so they can be heard and reach their own agreement.
Listening sessions
Facilitated gatherings where members can speak honestly about what they're experiencing. I report themes, not names, so leaders can act on what they hear.
Discernment & consensus building
A structured process for big decisions that helps the community weigh options together and reach a decision people can stand behind, even if not everyone agrees.
Coaching for leaders
One-on-one support for pastors and lay leaders preparing for a hard conversation or leading through a season of tension.
Training
Practical workshops for boards, staff, and ministry teams: listening well, difficult conversations, and healthier ways to disagree.
A clear process, at a pace your community can sustain
Talk
A free, confidential conversation with you to understand what's happening and whether I'm the right fit.
Listen
Conversations with key leaders and, when it helps, listening sessions with the wider community.
Design
A written plan for the process, timeline, and cost, shaped to how your community makes decisions.
Engage
We do the work together, building toward agreements and decisions that hold, with a check-in afterward.
Leaders inside the conflict can't also be neutral.
Pastors and board members are often asked to hold a process they're also part of. An outside facilitator lets leaders participate fully, gives every voice a fair hearing, and helps the community trust the outcome.
I've been an ordained minister since 2008, so I know congregational life from the inside. I hold a graduate certificate in Conflict Resolution and Negotiation from Creighton University. That combination lets me respect your tradition while keeping the process fair to everyone in the room.
Questions congregations often ask
Do you work with congregations of any tradition?
Yes. I'm an ordained minister, and I work with congregations and faith communities across traditions. I start by learning how your community makes decisions and what it values, and I shape the process to fit that, not the other way around.
Will you take the pastor's side or the board's side?
Neither. My role is to be a neutral third party for the process, so that everyone involved can trust it. I'll be clear with leaders from the start about what that means and what it doesn't.
Is this confidential?
We agree on confidentiality and ground rules at the start, before anything is shared. In listening sessions, I report themes rather than names, so people can speak honestly.
How long does a discernment process take?
It depends on the size of the decision and the congregation. A single facilitated meeting can help with a focused question. A full discernment process with listening sessions and a congregational decision often runs over several weeks to a few months. We'll map out a realistic timeline together.
Can you work alongside our denomination or judicatory?
Yes. If your congregation has denominational staff or a regional body involved, I'm glad to coordinate with them so the process respects your polity and existing commitments.
Do you work online or outside Colorado Springs?
Yes. I work in person around Colorado Springs and online with congregations across the U.S. and internationally. Many listening sessions and leadership conversations work well by video.
What does it cost?
Cost depends on the size of the congregation and the scope of the work. After a free first conversation, I'll give you a written outline of the process, timeline, and cost before anything begins.
Let's talk about what your community is facing
The first conversation is free and confidential, by video or phone.
Email: ben@attendconflict.com · Phone or text: (719) 602-0655
Looking for help outside a congregation? See all services.